Now ladies & gents, let me the first to that the thought of writing this blog whilst growing slowly black and corpulent on Thailand’s beaches has not filled me with joy. So I haven’t done it. For 6 weeks. An entire country. Sigh.
As you have no doubt noticed from photos we have spent the last 6 weeks experiencing a holiday within a holiday, merrily chasing the sun and trying to find the world’s best green curry. Restaurant in a hill on Kata Beach on Phuket if you are interested. Beef, broccoli, baby aubergines, heavenly curry sauce….dribble.
I digress. I am now in Kyoto, Japan and am so excited about telling you all about this awesome, brilliant, ridiculously cold country that I am going to zip through my activities in Thailand, no doubt you shall get bored, if not a little irritated, by my repeated descriptions of lazy days on the beach, cold g & t’s and minimal exercise.
So, following 4 days mooching about in Phnom Penh awaiting our Thai visas (so we could stay more than 14 days) we braved another painfully long journey over the border and on to Bangkok. After a journey that involved 2 rickety old buses, a quick walk over the border and a pimped minibus driven by, the put it plainly, a bleeding maniac, we arrived in Bangkok at the famed Khoa San Road. The locals watched us ooze out of the bus and pick up our backpacks and instantly pegged us as green and tried to charge us 3 times the usual amount to our destination. Welcome to Thailand. After a (very) few pithy and quite possibly rude comments we went on our merry way and found an honest man to take us to easily the best hostel I have EVER stayed in. A free upgrade to a private room went some way to smoothing our ruffled feathers as well. We spent the next few days in Bangkok actively avoiding anything cultural and basically eating Cinnabons and going to the cinema. Bliss.
Following this we hotfooted it down to Krabi (bringing the rain with us natch) to see Jenny A and her rooftop bar. Despite the rain (or because of it) we managed to make a night of it drinking copious fruity drinks and grilling an American couple who had just spent a year (a YEAR!) on Antarctica. Well, I attempted to grill them whilst Al drunkenly educated us (repeatedly) on the nuances of the whaling wars, the perfidy of the Japanese when it came to whaling and the annual slaughter of dolphins a la ‘The Cove’. Happily he got to too drunk to carry on and slowly negotiated the stairs to our room leaving me to learn about people gradually going loopy whilst doing the winter shift on the ice continent. Heady stuff. This evening proved such a success that we would return to Krabi and Jenny a fair few times over the next 6 weeks, again bringing the rain with us every time. Sorry Jenny.
We pranced and skipped around the coast of Thailand so much that it would be easier all round if I just listed the places that we visited (some more than once).
So!
Koh Phi Phi.
One of the most beautiful islands you will ever see but always heaving with people. We went when we fancied losing a few hours each night to the vagaries of alcohol whilst never being more than 500m from our welcoming bed. It was here that we watched a bit of ridiculous Thai boxing by random drunk punters picked up off the street. Jeez.
One of the most beautiful islands you will ever see but always heaving with people. We went when we fancied losing a few hours each night to the vagaries of alcohol whilst never being more than 500m from our welcoming bed. It was here that we watched a bit of ridiculous Thai boxing by random drunk punters picked up off the street. Jeez.
Koh Lanta
We went to shrug off the hungover fug from Koh Phi Phi but unfortunately the sun wasn’t listening to our grandiose plans and didn’t shine. For 4 days. Humph. This was a little annoying to be honest as the beach that we stayed on was gorgeous and you could just tell that the water would be beautifully clear and turquoise if for a little sun. Happily we filled our time be eating at some gems of restaurants and watching such cinematic greats as the Bride of Chucky and a few other straight to video films.
Phuket
Eeeeek. We felt that we had to go to the most visited island in Thailand if only to see the fabled lady boys that actually looked like ladies! You hear all these horror stories about people just not realising (in some gut churningly embarrassing situations) that someone was of a confused gender but either we missed something or standards have fallen somewhat. So easy to tell! So we went to Phuket, Soi Bangla, Al firmly attached to my side for his safety’s sake to check out the produce there. Well Phuket was everything that we imagined and more. I.e. heaving with Russians and drunken packs of boys eating kebabs and walking down the road shirtless gawping at the ‘ladies’. Got to be seen but once is enough for me. Happily we found the one bar one Soi Bangla that refused to let the ladies of the night to ply their trade on the premises and spent the night looking out on to the street singing at the top of our lungs to rock classics. Oh, and by the way, it was pouring down. However, as mentioned before Phuket did go up in my estimation by presenting me with the green curry of ALL green curries so much was forgiven.
Koh Tao
Ahhh Koh Tao, how much you gave us! It was here that we did as almost all visitors to this island do and got our diving certifications for riiiiiiiiidiculously small amounts of money. The diving was pretty cool, 1m long barracudas, a turtle, trigger fish and a huge school (?) of squid.We spent allll of our time on the island diving or reading/learning/talking about diving so can you believe that we didn't once lie on the beach and could only have a max of 2 drinks per eve? Shocking. But both the diving and the qualifications made up for this. Not only did I got to see Al's face awash with horror as he surfaced next to a man who had literally just chucked up his guts (seasickness gets the best of us eh?) but also as I quickly lost any embarrassment with my too snug wetsuit when I realised (through scientific research) that NO ONE looks good in a wetsuit. No one.
I must also at this point give props to Al for not only doing the open water but the advanced course in diving! Over the past year or so even mentioning the word diving instantly ratcheted up the tension between us. Me, convinced that if he just tried it he would love it as much as I do and Al, thinking that I was putting pressure on him to do something that he wasn't at all sure that he wanted to do. Happy days. So, with my new mature outlook on life I decided that I would have no opinions whatsoever on whether he joined me on the diving course. Al, of course, tested my determination to remain quiet by remaining undecided till the moment we had to book. I don't who was more surprised, me or him. However, once he made the decision he entered the fray with full gusto and enjoyed (he has confirmed this!) every minute of it. Sharks were mentioned at every possible opportunity and the night dive was preceded with worried silences and gloomy references but despite this he got straight in the water and once there spent the entire time loving the underwater world. Woop! Woop!
I must also at this point give props to Al for not only doing the open water but the advanced course in diving! Over the past year or so even mentioning the word diving instantly ratcheted up the tension between us. Me, convinced that if he just tried it he would love it as much as I do and Al, thinking that I was putting pressure on him to do something that he wasn't at all sure that he wanted to do. Happy days. So, with my new mature outlook on life I decided that I would have no opinions whatsoever on whether he joined me on the diving course. Al, of course, tested my determination to remain quiet by remaining undecided till the moment we had to book. I don't who was more surprised, me or him. However, once he made the decision he entered the fray with full gusto and enjoyed (he has confirmed this!) every minute of it. Sharks were mentioned at every possible opportunity and the night dive was preceded with worried silences and gloomy references but despite this he got straight in the water and once there spent the entire time loving the underwater world. Woop! Woop!
Koh Phangnan
Following our studious and focused time on Koh Tao we decided we needed a break. The upcoming full moon party on Koh Phangnan met our strict criteria of holiday enjoyment (drink, dance, eat & sleep, all in copious amounts) so of we trotted (or dangerously swayed on an overly full ferry in rough seas) to that hedonistic island.
The full moon party was interesting to say the least. About 15,000 revellers (mostly Russian it seems) decked out in flourescent clothes and paint, hopped up on backets and dancing madly on any available surface. It was definitely something that you have to experience once but I'm afraid to very salient points may prevent me from going again. 1. The music was AWFUL. The entire beach jumped to trashy europop except one bar that played drum and bass at deafening levels to try and compete. 2. More importantly, when looking out to sea we had a more or less constant view of men's backs as the inevitable effects of 3 buckets of alcohol took hold and they found themselves far far from the nearest toilet. Yeesh. Thank god the tide was going out or I would most probably have had a severe attack of my 'hating all kinds of bodily fluids'. Yeesh again.
Following our studious and focused time on Koh Tao we decided we needed a break. The upcoming full moon party on Koh Phangnan met our strict criteria of holiday enjoyment (drink, dance, eat & sleep, all in copious amounts) so of we trotted (or dangerously swayed on an overly full ferry in rough seas) to that hedonistic island.
The full moon party was interesting to say the least. About 15,000 revellers (mostly Russian it seems) decked out in flourescent clothes and paint, hopped up on backets and dancing madly on any available surface. It was definitely something that you have to experience once but I'm afraid to very salient points may prevent me from going again. 1. The music was AWFUL. The entire beach jumped to trashy europop except one bar that played drum and bass at deafening levels to try and compete. 2. More importantly, when looking out to sea we had a more or less constant view of men's backs as the inevitable effects of 3 buckets of alcohol took hold and they found themselves far far from the nearest toilet. Yeesh. Thank god the tide was going out or I would most probably have had a severe attack of my 'hating all kinds of bodily fluids'. Yeesh again.
Koh Samui
If Thailand was our holiday within a holiday then Koh Samui was our blissful retreat within a break within a holiday. We spent Christmas here and to celebrate this wondrous time of year, and also to reward ourselves for a job well done over the pervious 5 months we decided to treat ourselves to nice hotel and ensure that everything was in place for us to eat, drink & merry. And that we did. The pictures of our hotel speak for themselves. I can't tell you how much all of your posts and the news report on the snow, bitter cold and mayhem in th UK helped my relxation whilst by the pool.......
Similan Islands
This was our last hurrah before leaving Thailand and flying to Japan, and what a hurrah it was. A picture says more than a thousand words so use these pics to read my lips. I'm going back to go on a live aboard trip there one say. Oh yes I am. 
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